Today, I went to a local farm and ranch store to purchase some seeds for some veggies that I plan to try to grow in Uganda. Things like squash, zucchini, okra, and black eyed peas that we can grow and remind us of home while we are away.
That may seem like a completely random thought, but it will come into play a little later in this post. This post is really about goodbyes. We have already started to say goodbyes to some people that we will not see again before we leave. I thought the excitement for our move would numb the pain of saying goodbye to people that we won’t see for at least 18 months, but it doesn’t. As excited as I am for our move, our new adventure, our mission, and our new life, letting go of our current life and friends has not been easy.
The reality of our forthcoming departure is starting to become real as the countdown gets smaller and smaller. I found myself sad last night as I wrapped up my last cook at the bank and had people say some really nice things about me and about how they were going to miss me.
The bad thing is that this is just the beginning of this process. Next week, I will say goodbye to my work family as I leave the job I’ve had for the last 8 years. Next week, our kids will have to say goodbye to their lifelong friends on the last day of school. We will start saying goodbye to friends and family in the coming weeks.
These are not short term goodbyes either. These are goodbyes for at least 18 months and perhaps some final goodbyes to people we will never see again this side of heaven. I grossly underestimated the difficulty of some of these goodbyes. I may lose my man card, but I’ve had to choke back tears on numerous occasions over the last few days.
I was reflecting on these goodbyes as I drove home from work today and it occurred to me that we are like the seeds that I just purchased. A seed may be perfectly happy being a seed because it doesn’t know what the future holds should it give up being a seed. A seed has to die to it’s former life of being a seed to become something better. It can’t be a squash if it remains a seed. It can’t become a beautiful flower if it remains a seed.
We, like the seed, have been content with the lives that we have enjoyed. We enjoy our co-workers, friends, and family, but we can’t be what God has in store for us if we remain a seed. If we are not forced to say the difficult goodbyes, we won’t be able to experience the blessings of being the hands and feet of Jesus in Uganda.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord , plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 20:11
These goodbyes are not going to be easy and will probably get more difficult as we get closer to our move. I pray that we will be comforted with the imagery of the seed leaving its life as a seed and becoming a beautiful flower.
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